Conversations with my consciousness

Most people will never have an affirmative answer to this baffling question: ‘Do you love what you do at work or at home...’ But sadly that’s the way this life is. I can’t say I love what I do. Every evening after returning from work I don’t have much to look forward to. Switch on the laptop, check mails, facebook, chatting… But every night when I lie down on my cold bed, my consciousness asks me, ‘Did you do justice with your day… Did you achieve what you set out to get?’ It’s rare I can stare back at my alter ego and say ‘Yes, I did what I loved, I achieved what I wanted’. Mostly I hide my head under the pillow and shout back ‘Get lost! You moron… you don’t know a shit about this world… so better keep your mouth shut’. My consciousness gives me a good stare… laughs his heart out at me before going off to sleep till the next night when he can again throw the same rhetorical question at me. That sums up the life for me… may be most of the people.

But then there are days when I too get a chance to fight back. These days, though a very few, are pretty exciting days. ‘Yes I did what I love… achieved what I wished for’. There is an endless jour at heart when I get a chance to shout back these very words at my consciousness. But, he pounces back with an even terse ask. ‘What next… or for how long?’ He politely asks, leaving speechless and dumb. These barbed words hurt even more than ever before. At least earlier I got the chance to shout back. But where am I left stranded now? Whom I am trying to fool? I again crouch back, hiding my face when finally he decides to leave me alone but not before having laughed his heart out.

Tired of this every day ordeal, I decided one day to take my consciousness to a coffee shop for face to face talk. I wanted to settle this once for all. I started the conversation explaining him ’If I always do what I love or wanted I …’

‘How often do you do stuff that you love’, he shot back even before I could finish.

‘Quite often…’ I said, trying to avoid any eye contact. But he kept staring at me.

‘Ok! Not so often’ raising my eyes I replied to the unasked but obvious question. There was no change in his stance. I finally gave in. ‘I do things that I like rarely… but if I always do what I want I will end up nowhere.’

‘Define nowhere.’ He politely asked.

‘I don’t know’

‘Then checkup the dictionary’

‘Sure, I will as soon as I get time but let’s stay focus on the matter at hand’

‘We have time now. Why don’t you check out while we wait for coffee.’ He said in a manner I couldn’t deny.

‘Nowhere: in, at or to no place; not anywhere; not in a successful or a winning position.’ I read out loud from the Cambridge dictionary. ‘Satisfied’ I blurted. ‘Can we talk now… see the point I was making is that if I always …. rather often did what I loved I may end up being an unsuccessful person. I love to cook my meals but I don’t like to do the cleaning afterwards. So if I only cooked and never cleaned will I ever be successful.’

Nodding his head he asked ‘Why do you work at job’.

‘It pays me a salary at the end of every month.’

‘Which you use for?’

‘Doing things that I desire.’

‘Do you desire food’

‘I need food. I told you I love cooking.’

‘But do you really cook?’

I was stunned in silence.

‘So try explaining me… you work at a job which pays you a salary which is to be used for doing things that you like but you end up not doing things that you like!’

I was dumb founded.

‘Let begin it all over again!’ he suggested. ‘You said that if you do what you love you will be unsuccessful. Why don’t we check out what dictionary says about success’

I quietly flipped over the pages of the dictionary and read to myself. ‘Success: the achieving of desired results’. I could clearly see where this conversation was headed realizing the gloom of silence had descended all over the place.

‘Your coffee Sir’ the waiter’s voice ruptured through the darkness of silence as I released a sigh of relief. But this conversation was far from over.

To be continued… 

The Art of Saying 'NO'

Sid has mastered it!! DD is not willing to learn!!! I am still a student of it!!!

How difficult is it to master the art of saying ‘NO’.

The first question is obviously whom are you going to say ‘NO’. At times it becomes increasingly difficult to say no to people to whom you are too closely attached, or who are just too good a friend to say no!!

Next, how can you say no and still not hurt someone?

Frankly speaking, I am too bad at this.... At times I am too outward spoken ... If I don’t want to do something, or not like something, I just say that too flatly.... and those who know me are unfortunately have been at receiving end many a time... (Sorry friends!! I can’t help it.... still mastering this art)

Finally, how do you cope up with offending some?

Now, that’s the most difficult part for me.... Probably since I have offended a lot of people because of my ruthlessness and too flat talking I feel this pinch the most. No matter how much I try to overcome this, it always lingers somewhere at the back of mind and it hurts more than anything else. (It’s really painful to when people rightfully change their behavior towards you)

So friend who have mastered this art help me out with your in valuable suggestions...

And not to forget those whom I might have hurt!! Hate mails invited!!

Let the Truth Prevail....

Last week I wrote a blog ‘Butterfly Effect’ because I was disturbed by the malicious report about a small student clash that had been blown out of proportion. Somehow I digested that foul smelling piece of crap.

I thought that worst was over, but it wasn’t to be. One of my dear friend went missing after he failed to clear exams and sadly enough his name was struck of the academic roles. An FIR was lodged in connection with the incident, and we looked forward for cooperation for ‘Media’ to help us trace him. But instead of looking into our agony and concern, once again the torch bearers of so call ‘freedom of press’, preferred to rub salt on our wounds. I can’t even imagine the extent to which the report in the so called world largest daily was flawed:-

1. The branch of the student concerned given wrong.

2. The year in which he was currently studying incorrect.

3. The so called marks obtained by him in last two exams were totally cooked up. The thing that surprised me the most was that even when the student himself never got to know the precise marks obtained by him, how an outsider can get to know such intricate details. This was even more amazing when one realizes that grading system is followed and precise marks of even the successful students are not known.

These moguls of the blooming media industry have probably been blinded by the glitter of the power and influence they command that they even fail to see that without being factually correct, they can never gain trust of common man, they have become emotionless to feel the pain and agony of the common man.

The most distressing part of the report was that even in this hour, they didn’t fail to dig the dead from graveyards. The most insulting part of the article was the presentation in which they reported saying that ‘recently the students have been involved in a series of violent clashes ‘ referring to the small tussle that had already been resolved and digging a three year old incident that had nothing to do with the current students as the involved people have already graduated.

Its really agonizing to see that just for the sake of increasing their TRP’s these people who have the social responsibility to keep the society informed and aware, are stooping to such low levels. Can’t these heartless people think of the sufferings of the family of the person missing that they further damage the name of the student, and the institute.

It’s now high time that media should be charged of bringing bad name and disrepute if it indulges in such misinformation. Like many of the nations where freedom of press is respected but at same time these media persons are reprimanded for their uncivilized deeds, we need to have a similar mechanism. If such malicious and irresponsible reporting is to continue, it’s not long enough when people will loose their faith in the ‘Fourth-Pillar’ of democracy.

The Butterfly Effect

"The flapping of wings of a butterfly in one part of the world can cause a tornado in other!"

Now if you that thought this is impossible thing..... please think again. For this can be made possible by our ever hard working and overzealous media. These torch bearers of the Freedom of Press have simply forgotten the one fundamental fact..'Freedom bestows responsibilities.'

Not long ago, one of the most unfortunate incidents came to light that shook the very foundation of Indian family culture, the Arushi Murder Case, in which even before the judicial system could look into the case, 'free press' carried out a public trial and held an innocent man guilty.

Even more interesting was the recent CERN's Experiment, the sub-atomic particle smasher, where some 24x7 news channels went on the extent to predict the end of the world. For many people this was funny, but for many others it wasn't. After watching this piece of 'crap' news channel, one child committed suicide.

Now one thing that hurt me the most was the way a small quarrel among a group of students from a prestigious institutes was blown out of proportion, even of the leading daily devoting almost 1/8th of the page and with damning headline. These people don't realize that for their small gains they can jeopardize the entire career of students. Apart from bringing a bad name to the institute, their irresponsible, incomplete and spiced up article only added fuel to fire. I fully acknowledge that they wouldn't have known this ever had someone among the students had not passed on the information, but isn't it their responsibility to at least give the administration's stand.

Probably its high time that these people do some intro-inspection and realize freedom alone is doing more harm than good (at least at times). Infringing upon privacy of people can be shoot up their TRP but what about the pain, agony and emotional damage they cause??

COMITTING MISTAKES: a rare privilege

My father always says 'Only those who do something or work have the privilege to make mistakes'. In this world there are two kind of people one who work and others who don't. Those who work are not afraid to make mistakes and once they learn from their mistakes they are on their way to success. Those who believe in sitting can never taste the pleasure of enjoying success because they are too afraid to commit mistakes. Shakespeare once said those who remain silent during a conversation pretending they are the wisest are usually the people who know nothing. It's true that silence is a virtue, but not always.
Also we need to remember one thing: Never to repeat a mistake. Repeating a mistake is a sin which one cannot dare to commit, so always make new mistakes, because it gives you a whole new experience.
This is my most humble request to all those sitting in their couches, and lying low to get up and be the part of this privileged group . So next time someone laughs at you for making a mistake, then no need to be disappointed. Just remember one thing: You are a privileged lot, which he is not!!!

RELATIOSHIPS: Living it or Carrying it

Not long ago, I bought a fine piece of porcelain flower-vase. The porcelain was one of the finest quality, unparalleled in design and covered with exotic work. I loved it so much that I kept it on my study table so that it was always within my site. One day one of younger cousin visits me and drops the vase from the table. It came to me as a real shock! But God’s grace it wasn’t totally broken, just a small chip of it comes out from near the mouth of the vase. I mange it stick it with a fevikwik and keep it on the table I such a way that its repaired side faces the wall, away from the eyes of the world with just me knowing the truth. One fine morning I notice that a crack has developed throughout the length of the vase. I felt heart broken! My mother asks me to throw away my most cherished possession as it is a bad omen to keep broken or cracked glass in house. I am in a fix!! What should I do?......

Dear friends this is not just another piece of story. It has much more to offer if you are able to read between the lines!

For those who are still in a fix, just think of the precious flower vase as relationship between two people. Or better out it up as you share a very good relationship with someone. It is one of yours most cherished possession. But one day you begin to feel that the things are actually not the way you thought them to be. The relationship is strained due to some unavoidable reasons and things are not the same as earlier. You somehow mange to patch up the things, so that the world does not know about it and continue to live with it. But not before long you realize that there is a complete break down and you cannot carry the burden any further but you don’t want to give it up.

You are in a dilemma! You don’t know how to cope up with such a situation. Then what should one do? Probably, it’s the most appropriate time to draw the line. Living in a situation that is suffocating you is not one of the wisest thing in the world, but giving it up is not easy either. It’s hard but life can’t wait, it has to move on.

The choice is yours: either to cry your heart out for a day or two or keep sobbing through out your life!!